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* (This song was not written with intent to offend anyone's sexual identities or to demean women.) It was created to shine a humorous light onto an uncomfortable situation that a friend found himself in. I.H.C. poses an ethical question: Should a person who is consumed with searching for adult encounters on the internet be praised and held in high regard or should they be condemned for their actions?
----- Internet Hookup Champ -----
First Saved Message: "Hey Schmitty if you're by your computer anytime soon here I need you to go on craigs list and find the post for two women lesbians under casual encounters that has my number on it And I need you to figure out how to take it down or something because my phone is filling up with messages and it's not cool anymore I'm not at home where I can do this so thank you" End of message: Sitting at home all alone in my birthday suit Searching for someone to satisfy my uncontrollable urges I am a master of manipulation in need of some hardcore penetration Are you there Is there another Just like Me I can't help myself I've got nothing better to do Feeling so desperate will you let me share my body with you Internet hookup champ The glow of the screen The speed of my stream My computer is boss A knock at the door Come in Come in Tonight's encounter is about to begin I've got a million profiles online I enjoy soliciting sex Is this wrong Cause if it is I don't fucking care I can't help myself I've got nothing better to do Feeling so desperate will you let me share my body with you Internet hookup champ I don't snuggle And I don't make breakfast the morning after Internet Hookup Champ I am an internet hookup champion All the chicks say my thrusts are ...
released December 10, 2012
Chad Medellin - Vocals
Gregg Schmitt - Guitar / Bass
Mat Graske - Drums